Home Is Where the Heart Is...
And my heart seems to be someplace else these days. Having never spent more than 2nts apart since we got married, these past few weeks of Steve working away have been kind've strange for all of us. I am SO looking forward to this Easter weekend and feeling like a FAMILY again. This single parent stuff is not easy, I definitely have a new found respect for women and men who tackle parenting on their own. I can't imagine what it would be like, but this small dose is a huge awakening. It's hard enough as it is being home on my own with the girls, but if I had to go to work during the day and then come home and do dinner, bedtime routines etc... every night, I might not make it! I have to think about things I've never had to, like, which stores I'm going to now because some don't have shopping carts that Brynlee's carseat will fit in, or restraints to buckle Kalea into. I have to ask people to babysit while I run my "after bedtime errands". Trying to get to church yesterday was a complete and utter gong show. It took half an hour to get Kalea into her dress- after which she pranced around like a fairy until I wrangled her into her sandals. Brynlee was an angel the whole time Kalea was fussing/moaning/winge-ing, etc... We had a tantrum on the way out to the car, followed by a HUGE meltdown while trying to buckle Kalea into her carseat- I honestly don't know how she can bend and writhe the way she does without breaking anything. She screamed and screamed- even through dropping something off at a friends on the way to church. I really don't know why I tried so hard to even make it, maybe because I didn't want to feel like it couldn't be done, since many have done it on their own before? I can see my pride in this. But I needed the break that Nursery would give me, if I could just get her there! Yes, yesterday I became the parent that I swore I never would, and honestly, it didn't feel so bad! I had the realization last night that part of the reason for the Nursery class at church is to give us frazzled moms and dads a break. I learned yesterday, that God really is merciful in providing that resource, and it was just as much mercy for Kalea as it was for me! Steve is my Sunday Super Dad, and I was honestly afraid to go without him-for good reason! I used to think I showed my appreciation for Steve fairly well, now I KNOW I need to improve! It makes such a difference to have someone to share the load with, and give you a break every once in a while. It's comforting to know that, even if he's gone all day and doesn't really get to see the girls, he'll be home to cuddle up next to for the night. It makes a difference to have someone else to chase your kid around the church so you don't have to do it in a skirt and heels! I have been known to be a pretty independent girl, but I am SO dependent on my man! Holy cow I never realized what it meant to be "equally yoked" or to be each others "help meet" but I get it now. Steve really is a great compliment to my weaknesses, and I will be so glad when this "long distance marriage" is over so we can get back to our more normal routine! Until then, I will soldier on.
Posted by Allison