I've had some good discussions the last few days about parenting and the mindset you need to have in order to do it somewhat well ie. harboring your sanity in the midst of the chaos. I'm learning a lot about myself in the process and some things have always been there, they just now have a useful place to come out. So here are the 3 that have been on my mind this week.
1. I know my limits for this particular time in my life. I guess for every stage of life I've had a tendency to know my limits. I think sometimes it's hindered me, but for the most part it's been a good thing. No broken bones ever... knock on wood... As a parent I have pretty decent boundaries as far as controlling myself in order to save myself, ya know? Next year I might be more adventurous, but as for now my kids are stuck with a little less fun I guess. I am lucky that Steve's job is pretty flexible in the winter months that drive most people crazy. A lot of our winter fun involves a 1:1 kid:adult ratio, it works better for me than 2:1 because Kalea does not listen to me. I am trying to find a solution to that problem, I'm thinking just more of she and I doing things without Brynlee around so she has my full attention and gets used to listening to me outside of the house. In some ways I feel guilty that I'm not willing to push myself more, but at the same time, if/when I do, the kids and Steve suffer. So if we don't attend every event or venture out for as many walks or do as many activities as we can, it's only to save my sanity. Selfish maybe, but so far it's working.
2. I am starting to really organize my life. As a child my mom would probably never describe me as very organized. As a teenager neither would my friends (Tara have I ever sufficiently thanked you for helping me clean out/organize my closet? Seriously, thanks). As an adult Steve wouldn't consider me bad at it, just unmotivated. Okay, but that's as far as stuff goes, when it comes to activities/outings, etc... I like to be organized and have things planned in advance. I am finding that when it comes to taking the kids anywhere my brain compartmentalizes every part into neat little boxes. I guess it helps me deal. Good, this means on some level organizing makes sense to my brain! This is now spilling over into the stuff area of my life. For example, we inherited a huge filing cabinet around Christmas time. Nobody knows this but I feel like I've finally "arrived" at adulthood now that I have one of my own... I am such a geek sometimes. This means I now have a place for everything paper...EVERYTHING!!! I bought tupperware containers the other day to store my prego clothes- yes my baby is 14mths old and I am finally putting those ugly maternity clothes away, don't judge me. I guess I have an affinity for big plastic containers too, weird... I don't know if it's the organizing or just having fun new "toys" to help me organize, but we're on a roll at our house. Baby steps to loving being organized, yay!
3. I don't like to be misjudged. I was talking with a friend the other night about how because of my calling at church I sometimes tend to not say or do things for fear that people will think I'm only doing it because I know what "the problem" is. Or if I do say/do something I find myself thinking "Oh gosh I hope they don't think I did that because I know..." I would honestly just rather not know anything and be able to do nice things just because and not have to worry how people take it. I think I've been that way forever, not just now.