Thanks for all the comments on my last post. I hope everyone understands that I posted because I needed feedback, so I would never in a million years be offended by any comments left. Especially because I'm sitting on one side of the fence while some people are on the other and yet others have been on both. It's great to have perspective and input from all aspects and I really appreciate the "discussion" because it's a hard one to have.
I do want to clear up one thing, because I do think it could be taken in the wrong way. When I was talking about Steve and I trying to have Kalea, it did come across like I was comparing my experience to infertility. I'm really sorry, that was not at all my intention. I was trying to explain our own feelings as far as our journey and maybe I should've just told the story I wanted to about it and it wouldn't have sounded like I was comparing that to infertility. So I am sorry if that came across wrong. I can't imagine what that would be like and wouldn't ever want to sound insensitive to this subject, since I can't begin to put myself in those shoes, again I'm really sorry.
Bottom line, no matter what, we can all be influential in the life of a child. I've learned that from many women who have touched my life, from all parts of the spectrum. They will never know how deeply their love and testimonies have affected me, but I am so grateful. That should be another post :)
4 comments:
What a brave woman you are approaching a subject like this! It is a subject quite close to me as I have a sister that has been married for 10 years and was just able to adopt a baby this past December. I have had to tell her six times that I was having a baby - how hard is that!?! The funny thing now is that she just found out that she is having a baby herself, and I can tell you that she feels everything any other mother feels during pregnancy, and she even complains a little bit here and there. I can't even come close to understanding all the heartache she had to go through and all the years she waited, but I know that as mothers we all love our kids the way they need to be loved - that is why we are their mothers. I don't understand Heavenly Father's timeline either and why it is so easy for some and extremely difficult for others. I know you are a good mom and that you love your kids and I hope your friend can see that too!
It sure isn't a black and white issue that is for sure! But it gave you and I some great discussions and like you said to me it shows that we are real friends if we can discuss a sensitive topic and bring our different experiences to the table and respect varying opinions.
:) I think this post was directed at my comment and I appreciate your response. I really hope my comment was not too harsh. I love you, am so glad you are a part of my family and a part of my life and I am SO happy that you have your two beautiful little girls. I also really did appreciate your feelings and thoughts about the woman and post that you were discussing. I think all of us need to hear from and listen to those on the "other side of the fence", haha! I also agree that woman is giving herself unreal expectations. I have a good friend who finally became pregnant with twins after dealing with years of infertility and I could tell that she would try SO hard to not complain about being sick and swollen, etc etc because she felt like she should "just be grateful" that she was pregnant. I told her to stop thinking that way. She is allowed to feel bad and negatively and complain, no matter how grateful she is to be where she is. I think that is the problem sometimes, is that we think people complain about their hurts and difficulties and that means they are not grateful. That is an assumption, and we all know what assuming does. I really did appreciate everything you said in your post about being a mother and it helped me to better understand that some of the things I say and do can also be taken the wrong way. So, thank you for that reminder and thank you for being willing to apologize and explain some of the things that were said. A lot of people would have just become defensive and I think it is a sign of what a humble and loving person that you are that you didn't respond that way. Hopefully one day soon I will be asking you for mommy advice, but for right now I will just watch you from afar and learn from your example and experience.
Hi Allison,
I thought I would comment....I would like to say you are brave for this topic, but I totally understand where you are coming from.
I sadly have never had to "work" hard to have my kids, but let me tell you I know work hard to meet those different needs. We are give what we can handle, somedays it does seem like alot but I know the our Heavenly Father knows who and what we need in our lives and when we need them....
Christine
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