26.7.11

The Friendship Debate

Steve and I had a wonderful rhetorical yesterday about Facebook Friends vs. Real Friends. I said something to the extent that "my Facebook Friends aren't necessarily my Real Friends", for which he threatened to post the quote as my new Facebook status. Don't get me wrong, I have whittled and tweaked my friends' list to really only include people who I care about, or people who I know are interested in what's happening with me, and obviously family members are more than friends, but seriously, the majority of the 200+ people on my friends' list cannot possibly be real friends. And I mean the kind that call you up out of the blue to see how life is, or send a random note in the, duh duh duh MAIL. I don't even have 200 names on my speed dial or stored in my cell phone. I know for a fact that my husband doesn't call up his Facebook friends when he's bored or needs man-time. I know that I certainly do not receive friendly phone calls from the vast majority, or even have much of an inkling of what exactly is the scoop on very basic things in their lives. It's kind of my personal opinion that Social Networking is sure taking the friend out of friendship. It used to be that to find out how a friend was doing you'd pick up the phone and ask them, or just show up for a quick visit, now you just have to look at Facebook or read somebody's Blog and voila, leave a comment to show you care and that's it. That's it. For serious? I dunno, I think I've become a rather crappy friend since it all showed up. I can appreciate the fact that it's made me so much lazier my life so much easier, since I don't always get the chance to have a few minutes of noise free phone time, receiving rapid concise updates on what's happening with friends/family is great, I like that I can keep in contact with so many people, but I hate that it's so impersonal. It could just be me, but I find that my conversation skills are lacking, not just from spending so much time at home with my little people, but because I'm completely out of practice with big people. I read your blog, I already know how you're feeling about whatever. I can ask you how you're doing, but you already wrote about it so has anything changed since yesterday? I dunno I think our society's view of what the term "friend" means has changed drastically and it's seeping into my own life in ways I don't like. I can't be the only person who feels this way, can I?

3 comments:

Megan said...

Sometimes I wish I could HONESTLY purge my "friend" list and only have those people who are my REAL friends be my facebook friends but with my calling and including Brett's extended family that I have never even met that is probably never going to happen. I totally agree that people are lazier friends now too. What happened to the birthday phone call??? Even my GRANDMA facebooks her birthday wishes. It's tragic.

Sheri said...

I totally agree! Social networking has really changed our lives.
I do love the fact that you can still have contact with people you would otherwise never hear from except at a 10 or 20 year reunion (or never again). I love that my lonely 87 year old Granny can look at our pics on a daily basis (since I totally don't call her daily). I even enjoy that those who serve in primary with me can send me a FB message from out of town when they realize they forgot to get a sub for their class so I don't have to scramble at the last second!
BUT friendship has been changed for sure! Some "friends" almost seem annoyed if you call them on the phone rather then send a FB message. No one seems to have time for real friendship these days. If nothing else I think that FB really shows you who you have deep meaningful relationships with............the ones that you call on the phone, spend time with face to face, the ones your children know and love and the ones that drop by when you are having a hard day and the ones the out of town friends that make a point of visiting when they are in town.
So much good but so much bad all at the same time!

the fellers said...

Ditto, ditto and ditto....