Return of the Yogi

So this past week I went to Bikram once... it was my first time in about a week and a half just due to craziness with schedules, weather, etc... it felt different. I commented to my friend that if I had felt like that after my first class I probably wouldn't have gone back. But I still love it. Here are some of the things that made the class "different" than it has been for me in the past and if anybody is going to try Bikram in the future, things to keep in mind.
1. We set our mats up in the middle of the room, which happens to be hotter than the edge, duh way more uncomfortable especially when you haven't gone for a while.
2. My mat happened to be situated so that when the teacher was standing on her riser, her body completely blocked the view I had of myself. This makes it extremely difficult to see if I'm doing the postures correctly and focus on my self. It was nice in the sense that I couldn't see my rolls, but frustrating that when she said things like "find a spot to focus on yourself in the mirror" I was basically focusing on her, wonderful.
3. People were slightly chatty during class, which is completely discouraged and for good reason. It's super distracting when you are twisting and balancing in "eagle pose" when people are laughing... hello, I laugh at EVERYTHING but even I can stay quiet for 90mins.
4. I felt tired/exhausted during and after class. Seriously exhausted. I usually get a "high" and this time not a thing. I don't even know how I felt after because I didn't really feel anything other than tired. I yawned through class... So weird. I wasn't even chatty after, just blah...
5. It was my TOM so maybe my hormones were just like, "what the fetch is this" and just shut me down.
6. I was not well fed/hydrated that day at all. Seriously I was seeing stars more than once and had to take a knee.

So now I have goals for this week, including but not limited to:
1. Going at least twice this week, maybe 3 times so my body gets used to it again.
2. Setting up my mat early so I get an edge spot.
3. Eating better and drinking more water so that I don't feel heavy and gross during class.
4. Get decent sleep.

And a word about self-talk. I think yoga is a great way to touch base with my self. I like to go with my friend, but for the first time in my life I'm doing something that for 90mins can just be about me. It's nice to talk before, and have someone to talk to after, but for the majority of the class I find myself in deep conversation with me. What I found this week was that at one point I was apologizing to myself for eating junk, not drinking enough etc... and kind've struggling with the pose I was doing and all of a sudden inner me was like "who the heck cares just do the dang pose". So I shut up and everything was good again. Reading this over it sounds a bit crazy, but maybe it'll help someone else, so whatever, think I'm crazy! I'm learning that I maybe carry some useless guilt over things that don't really matter or find myself "caught up in the thick of thin things" (thanks Pres. Monson) So my next goal for this week is to be more aware of the things that matter, less guilty over the things that don't and to just let myself breathe a little bit more. I am a lot more "high strung" than I thought... ha!